uuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhmmmmmmmm.......................fuck my life.











You could've been all I wanted
but you weren't honest
now get in the ground!
You choked off the surest of favors
But if you really loved me
you would've endured my world

Well if you're just as I presumed
A whore in sheep's clothing
fucking up all I do
and if so here we stop
Then never again
will you see this in your life

Change the females to males and today this is how I feel.
Falling apart...drinking vodka......thank you Coheed & Cambria for saying things for me that I have not the motivation to write.
I'm going to finally finish the steps necessary to be a Suicide Girl. I'm fucking up school again. I'm not writing. I'm just not good at "life".



Rocked silent in a soft lullaby
Panic stirred me awakened by a ringing phone in time
Where and when would I see her?
Crazy were the words that scribbled out your mouth
I stuttered replacing your face to those words
Where and when would I kill her?
I'll wish on this, I'll wish with this
I wish... to the bitter end of my day
Where were you?
So you had your turn and you made it work
Now I'm the laughing stock of your joke
Crazy as it may seem I cried for you when you
Told me to date all of the things that made you end up in my life
And I'll believe anything anything I have no luck with girls

I overheard that you were unhappy too
Misleading trust into a relationship that makes no sense
Over and out Connecticut
But you had your back turned as you faded away
At the end of my day I found out
You weren't worth what I thought of you

Write this down in that diary that you abuse
Can we make plans can I just get through to you
Is this weird... do I scare her?
I'll wish on this, I'll wish with this
I wish... that you could share the love you'd shared with others with me

This isn't love so forever let it go... forever will it burn
This isn't love there on the backend of forever I wish I would never hurt again

yay. school. no burning man. boo. poor. double boo.

[link]


BURNING MAN!
I am so there! The theme this year is evolution and I am ravaging my brain trying to think of costume ideas......any one want to help me out with some creative ideas? I am thinking of perhaps something that has to do with a mutated gene, but as far as how to create that I'm a little bumfuzzled. I guess I could be a monkey one day. That seems to lame for me though. I want to go all out for this because it's such an amazing opportunity and I want to be all I can be! I don't really have any art to offer, unless I make a use word collage which is probably what is going to happen. I'd like to have a theme for myself each day and night, but that might be hard to actually pull off. I'm sure body paint is going to take over at some point because it's easy and it'll be hot as hell. Maybe hotter.

Got the new Mars Volta already. For free. It's amazing. Who would have thought?

I've been writing a lot. Smoking too much. Drinking. Cursing.

I've been discovering a great deal of things about my life lately.
Ha ha. It's so funny how things work out. Long hair, don't care!

And goddamn, I love this album.



"When I turn the dial
and leave the gas on
I'm the matchstick
that you'll never lose

These are the splinters
made from a single blade
I'm the matchstick
that you'll never lose

I'm like the key
that locks you in
I'm the matchstick
that you'll never lose

When you wear the burning
of all my ferns
I'm the matchstick
that you'll never lose"




"The solution inhaled from the rag I hold
holds a maximum vacancy
As I held you in crippled bandages
don't you stay up and wait for me

Left dangling in the wind...

You're not there...
I poke needles in the neck of a doll
She pokes back...
asking why can't I just let her lie

How come every time I walk, you crawl?
Then you cut out all the letters that make up this note"



and the best lyrics of all....



"How much do you make
in that death factory
Severance hold in the chamber of revolvers

Empty jails fall from my scalp
shaped the glove and let me out
Still I can remember the day
that they took you from me

Seems like I've been running
from your trenchant memory
Harpsichord will warn me when its over

Cause if heaven breathes
then someone trade places with me
Cause I don't want to tear feathers instead of rags

Instead of rags

When do I get to see the body preserved inside this brim
sewn on the lips were her last words
I'll be damned I can still hear her laughing

Your angels have tangled their breasts again
the comfort of doubt, still it keeps you thin
And still I can remember the day that they took you from me

Seems like I've been running
from your trenchant memory
Harpsichord will warn me when its over

Cause if heaven breathes
then someone trade places with me
Cause I don't want to tear feathers instead of rags

Instead of rags

Does your temperature ache?
Is your glass about to break?
Are you purple with currant?
Will you now become the serpent?

Gordian knots in the power lines
sizes fill empty with pesticide
With a pharaoh to hold
bury me in gold

Will your sun refuse to bite
in the Stockholm city that we provide
If your heart does cease to speak
my fingernail claw will make your chalkboard sing"